So many many things in my mind lately. Cluttered and too many things running around. Let’s catch some of them and place them in words.

1) Weirdly, NUS says that my application is still in “Application Processing” mode even though almost all of my friends already know of their admission decision into NUS. Maybe they are rejecting me because I told them that I am retracting the NUS Double Degree application (Business & Engin. combined). NTU gave me a spot in the NTU-Georgia Tech program even though I told them that I am retracting my application after they asked me to submit more supporting documents. I got lazy, told them I am withdrawing NTU application, and got accepted. The irony.

The thing is, going to Berkeley ain’t cheap. Half a million ringgit of cash splashed, and I might not even get a high paying job upon graduation, especially if I fail to secure a job in the US and have to come back home to Malaysia. The cost does not justify potential earnings.  I am entertaining the thought of just going to Singapore and get that dumb piece of paper called a degree. On the other hand, job aside, Berkeley might expose one to lots of new stuff and give a wholely different experience that might come useful, in some way, maybe in starting a tech venture. So yeah. A gamble indeed.

2) YEAH this pisses me off a lot. Drivers who fail to signal when switching lanes or cutting into your lane. I might be driving a small car, but please signal la when cutting in. At least when you signal, I know and will most of the time let you through as a reward for your courtesy to signal. DON’T BARGE IN LIKE THAT. (Volvo, BMW tai sai ar) Or I’ll HONK =)

Malaysian drivers.

OH yeah there was this joke my colleague related to me. So one day a listener called Mix FM and told the DJ, “Penang drivers are really terrible la.” Another called in and said (obviously a Penang lang) “Where got, in KL the drivers are also like that what. Bad driving.”

Killer statement by yet another caller, “You know why KL got bad drivers or not. They all come from Penang and drive in KL.”

3) Hmmm in my job, I have been going to a lot of places, including the abodes of wealthier people to do some maintainance. I don’t know, but it feels weird. Big houses, big and nice cars, luxuries that I see, makes me wonder whether this is really what I want to own. If I had a lot of cash, would I self-gratify, indulge in all these nothings and be arrogant and think that I’ve got it all? It’s very easy to do that if you are rich. So dangerous to be trapped like that. Live like a king and all, think that one is so big and awesome. Yeah when I drive in my Kancil I will go “ooooo, wahhh, niceeee” at the Toyotas and Hondas and BMWs etc etc., thinking of when I can have enough cash to get a Toyota etc., but is this really the objective of it all? Materials and all. Many of us would like that.  But if a man were really to be judged by the abundance of his possessions, then there can be only one winner in this world, i.e. Warren Buffet at the current moment. Judging by this, the rest might as well be losers. Of course, this cannot be the case.

Being a Christian complicates matters. On one hand, it is OK to be rich, but be generous givers. On the other hand, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Note: Hard, but not impossible. More discussion on Bible verses about wealth and riches in a later post.) My say is that it is perfectly fine to be wealthy, though many Christians today advocate self-denial and living “poorly” since they say that the Bible says things like “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” But the world screams money and wealth, and if Christiany means that one has to beg in the streets, who would want to become a Christian? The truth is, Jesus’s disciples were very wealthy people. I’ll elaborate in another post.

Even in church, sometimes people give testimonies announcing that God has blessed them financially (yes that’s good and praise the Lord for that) but I don’t really agree with the part that they go on saying that they have recently bought a Mercedes [fill in latest model here] (this is the part that feels wrong to me) as proof that they have been financially blessed. Big deal ah saying you got a Mercedes? A car is a car. What is a Mercedes for if not to flaunt and show off? Sigh. I don’t know. It’s not that I am against people with big cars, but then again who am I to judge anyway? I am not God. But all I want to say in this paragraph is that when someone drives a big car, says he drives a big car etc., my perception of that person, justified or not, points toward arrogance and self-importance. This is the perception I get, to be brutally frank.

This is my stand on riches and wealth: 1) Being rich is not wrong. God needs money for His works too.  2) Tithes and offerings are obligatory and mandatory. God commands us to render to God the things that are God’s. 3) Be a generous giver. One must give in order to receive! But give not to receive but to serve others and shower love on others, especially the needy. 4) Don’t love money, and don’t let money be your God. Now who can say, “I wish to be poor”? The fact is that we all wish that we can have financial freedom, be rich, and not be in lack financially. But how will you live your life once you have all these things? I think how you live your life when you are rich it is more important than having the riches itself. After all, this fact remains: we enter the world with nothing, and we depart with nothing.

The question I challenge all readers to ponder: How will you live your life when you are wealthy? Never forget that it is God who gave the power to get wealth. Give more to those in need? Flaunt it all to fulfill one’s material desires? It’s your choice.

4) Makes me think, I’ve applied to 8 scholarships, only one replied so far, i.e. Shell. Never intended to go into Oil and Gas, so ended up not going for the interview, plus the bond would be unbearable for person like me. Guess I shouldn’t complain about not getting scholarship since I am so choosy. But you get the point. Easier to win a lottery today than to get a scholarship, no matter how good you THINK you are.

[see what months of no intense studying and exams can do to one’s brain. my recent blog posts are proof that the gap period before starting intensive further studies makes me think a lot, some might say too much. but it’s good. sets the priorities right.]

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Some things cannot be rushed.

Infatuation or not infatuation? Perhaps I’ll give a few years to tell the difference. But things will be very different then. Oh, how hard it is to embrace the notion of keeping my eyes on God and serving Him wholeheartedly, everything for Him, doing God’s will at the current moment in my life, instead of dwelling in uncertain hopes and desires that plagues the mind. But today was something lifted. This burden. Maybe now I can give God my 100% attention. As long as I don’t entertain those thoughts. My naive mind.

Went to NJC today for College Day to receive a Student Council contribution award. Met up with some pals again, as well as some teachers. Parents came along all the way to Singapore even though the award was no biggie. Of course, I am nonetheless thankful to be even invited for this event. But then again I remembered reading in a book that awards are given to acknowledge that you have been doing things conventionally, the way the world sees success. By getting an award you have proven to be good in the eyes of the world, nothing creative, nothing special, just conventional. Somehow awards don’t really matter to me anymore. I think I would respect the person who has not received any award or praise but has served others whole-heartedly, quietly behind the scenes. I want to be that kind of person. Perhaps the many school awards that I have garnered since primary have made me numb to this fact until now: it is all meaningless in the end. The greatest prize is not an award and I think that we should not be aiming for awards as our goal.

Then it dawned on me also that in NJC today all I uttered were the superficial “Hi Bye” remarks with people whom I have gone to school with for 2 years. Occasionally, I would press in a little and enquire more about their current endeavours, future plans and aspirations, say some lame jokes etc. But it always ends there, and after that the conversation gets tense and then there is the urge to say “Hey, I’ll catch up with you later. Keep in touch OK?” just to part, move on, and bump into another “friend” and repeat the same process.

I mean, one can have so many acquaintances but does it matter? What? Is it supposed to make you feel popular and thus happy? I have 700+ “friends” in Facebook, but does it mean that I am constantly surrounded by friends whom I can care and share everything with? I can tell you honestly that the answer is a flat NO from my life’s reality. I can also tell you for sure that “real friends” account for less than 1% of that figure. I went to look at my “Top Friends” (a Facebook app) list today and realised that I have not really spoken to most of them for weeks if not months. If I were to filter everyone from that list based on the rule of constant and recent communication, I would have a number of “Top Friends” that is lower than the number of fingers on my right hand. (I had since cleared this list. Deciding whether someone is a Top Friend or not really gives me a headache. Sometime in your life someone becomes your “top friend”, and then he or she drifts away as time and distance sets in. Now that I am heading to Berkeley, it would be inevitable that the list would need major amendments again. How sad.)

I remember a friend asking me this in the past: “If you had something bothering you and you would like to share your deepest and toughest problems, who would you go to?” I think I was stumped at that question at that time. I simply could not answer. The truthful answer would be “Me, Myself and I.” I would also be absolutely trumped by the question “Who is your best friend?” I think that until today in all my 19 years of life, I never had a best friend, at least not one that lasted until now.

Can someone define what a true friend is? But if you gave me too honest an answer, i.e. one that is too clear cut and deep, I’m afraid that based on your profound definition I may not have a single true friend. Maybe I was too busy running around building a stupid “empire” of studies and activities and bloody awards but neglected to cultivate close friendships. I end up with countless “Hi Bye” friends.

I don’t want ten thousand “friends”. I just want one or two or maybe three real friends. Wherever I go to in this world, these few friends can be relied on to lend you a shoulder.

It’s high time that I put friendships first. And of course, even if you who are reading this are my fellow “Hi Bye” friend, I love you too and am very grateful to have you as a friend, even though there are many things I do not know about you and vice versa. I would very gladly go out of my way to help you if you just asked. I guess that the reality is not everyone can know everything about myself and be a really close friend, and ironically I think that it is better this way. Thus “Hi Bye” friends are good too. So to the majority out there, Ern Sheong still cares for you as a friend!

And of course, thank God that He sent us a Friend named Jesus Christ to come down to this earth and be true friends with all mankind. But it never hurts to have a true human friend that I can call “best.”

The Edge last week featured some interesting articles related to business. Here I’ll share a few which I think is interesting.

What do these people all have in common?

• Convicted felon Jeffrey Skilling (Enron Corp’s former chief, who is serving a 24-year prison term for fraud)
• Deposed CEO Stan O’Neal (Ousted by Merrill Lynch & Co after failing to know about mortgage risks)
• Struggling CEO Jeffrey Peek (He is seeking to sell CIT Group Inc’s assets after the lending company’s shares dropped 73% in the past one year)
• Unpopular American President George W. Bush

The answer: They all went to Harvard Business School.

But of course, make no doubt about it: Harvard Business School undoubtedly helped put them there in the hot seats in the first place. The article questions the role that Harvard plays in shaping leaders who succeed or fail. Circumstances that occur in life such as a bad marriage, death of family members, or a bad accident can affect executives. Basically it goes on to say that when students come to HBS they all carry with themselves their own set personality which cannot be changed by simply taking more courses in interpersonal relations etc.

A study on 50 HBS students before they enrolled until they graduated in 2006 found that one-third were still stuck in adolescence and had problems emphathising with people. Another third were found inclined to define right or wrong in terms of what everybody else was doing. This might explain why even well educated executives have fallen prey to the subprime-mortgage debacle. The subprime-lending spree shows that Harvard and other elite schools fail to mould managers who look beyond self-interest, the article says.

But of course, HBS has its share of corporate icons as well: US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, formerly head of Goldman Sachs Group Inc; Louis Gerstner, IBM; and Meg Whitman of eBay. Not to mention also New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and majority owner of Bloomberg News parent Bloomberg LP.

Many tech companies do not have MBA students as their CEOs or founders. My impression is that an MBA sort of encourages group-thinking and execution using conventional methods. But I don’t know much and don’t want to pretend that I know much either.

On a side note, I don’t think that I would be pursuing an MBA after graduating from Berkeley. I do intend, however, to pursue a Masters in Engineering and work at the same time, God-willing, through Stanford’s Honors Cooperative Program. 3 years at Berkeley, then off I go to work for 2-3 years in US while doing a part-time Master’s Degree Program@Stanford and also save up money to start a company. Then I would return home to Malaysia and do just that.

Haha… It’s so easy to dream

Maybe it’s still too early to say or the applications are still in process, but I applied to 7 scholarships (TNB, Tenaga, SC, Khazanah, National Infocomm Scholarship (Singapore), Sime Darby, and Shell) and got no reply from any of them as yet. (BNM deadline passed but I couldn’t be bothered applying…And I can’t see myself working for Astro so maybe not…)

Kudos for Malaysian meritocracy. I expected some to respond. Looks like none did, or ever will.

So hard for a Malaysian with dreams to fulfil it. If one has no money, those dreams can go down the bloody Malaysian drain. Thank God for my parent’s EPF. At least I can fulfil part of that dream.

And then I read this article in The Star about PSD Medic Scholars failing to return home to serve and felt better that I did not get JPA or some other Govenment Scholarship. Scholarship holders mentioned in the article have proven themselves to be an ungrateful and self-serving bunch.

But the Government has a lot to be blamed too. Lousy pay with long hours, no wonder no one wants to come back. But its main fault is not being strict with the defaulters. The article lists the years and number of scholars who failed to return each of those years, and then after data collecting for years later the PSD publicizes it and says, “Oh, we think something needs to be done about this. This cannot continue.” This is what I call a lagging Government.

What a bunch of idiots running a country teeming with opportunity.

And no wonder so many of my friends are already thinking about staying overseas beyond graduation. They say, “You should stay on at the country (where you studied) beyond graduation and earn big money.” After my response, they go, “Why?!!! Come back for what??” I also know of one who already has plans not to return. Oh yeah, and many want to return, to Singapore that is.

Buck up, Malaysia. Or you’ll lose me too.

However I am reminded that no matter what goes on around us, the attitude has to be kept right. So let’s put on a good attitude and hope for the best, and strive for the best that is possible within out realm and means. If you are doing business for instance, you can demonstrate the way things should be done, by setting up a great company which can bring Malaysia to greater heights in the international arena. Do things your way. Show the bunch of jokers in the Cabinet how great Malaysia can actually be.

I realized that I didn’t care anymore whether I was from whatever-name university. After all, in business, I realize that people come from everywhere, not just HYPSM. If you came up to me and introduced yourself as from Harvard or MIT or Stanford, I don’t think that I would really care. So why do people want to go to all those big prestigious places for? Study so hard, work like mad, be passionate in some areas, most of the time for the sake of it, all to be an alum of Princeton/Penn/Cambridge/Oxford etc.? Then get a prestigious job and earn tons of money? What is the end goal?(Help others? Maybe) Self-empowerment and fame boost? Be in a higher standing? Be looked at with awe and amazement? Be famous? Be a “role model” that people look up to? Achieve your career goals? What does all these mean anyway? It’s all temporary. Fleeting.

I don’t care about all that anymore. At least I think I don’t. But I think that’s lying.

And many people work work work to earn money money and more money. What is the point of it all in the end? Yes of course no money no talk. We all need money to survive, enjoy and also do God’s work. But what is the bigger picture? I don’t have the bigger picture at the moment. All I am doing is follow the motions, do what everyone is doing, follow what everybody is pursuing. You go to university? Therefore I have to go to. You trying to enter Big Name University? Hence I try to do so too. You earn big bucks? So my mum tells me that I should too, be prosperous and help others in return, i.e. get money to give money. (Sounds like a cover up and a good excuse for wanting to be wealthy, but it’s not a bad motive) But I really think that there should be something bigger. A bigger purpose. What’s the point of going through the motions, getting along life, striving and striving and losing ourselves?

How can I live my life such that I have absolutely no regrets following the path that I am treading now when I look back in the distant future? I don’t know. I really don’t know. But I know one thing: I really want to start my own company somewhere in the next few years after I graduate. Hopefully in Malaysia.

Why? I am just fascinated by large companies and how they function, especially tech companies. But is it also because I am some power hungry freak who wants to be at the helm of a tech conglomerate? Or because I want to be in control and have a recognizable name? So many possible wrong motives. Is it because I want to make big money? That’s another possible hidden motive. Do I have the hidden motives in me? Maybe. If I answered ‘No’ you wouldn’t believe me either.

But my other reason is that it is just plain fun (and hard work of course). Results are directly proportional to the amount of effort and wisdom that you employ in the business, wisdom in applying the right technology, systems, and in recruiting the right people. And of course, it would be outright exhilarating to see your enterprise lift off the ground and profitably grow. I get to meet and work with people everywhere. Hopefully I get to travel too. Maybe I can provide a great employment opportunity to thousands of people, and motivate them to join the company and embrace its vision instead of treating it like a job. Oh, then it would be a ‘we’ thing too. So many opportunities.

Well, talk is cheap. Let’s go back to the above question? Why bother doing all this? My answer would be that because it would be worse trying to do nothing at all and wonder what your goals are and end up not doing anything. You dream it, go for it. Why and what am I striving for? Do I even have the option to not strive? Really, do I? Can I just stop striving? Would that mean just be complacent? Complacent is a bad word, isn’t it?

I don’t have a choice, do I?

Well, they aren’t exactly new, but they have been improved from their previous versions. They are Firefox 3 Beta 4 and Safari 3.1.

I have personally downloaded Firefox 3 Beta 4 and tried it out, and it gave me a noticable speed boost. Putting Safari 3.1 and Firefox 3 browser windows side by side and comparing page loading showed that both were equally comparable in terms of rate of loading. Sometimes one browser loaded a page faster, sometimes the other browser won. The verdict is for you to determine.

Despite having Firefox 3 Beta 4, you can still start the good ‘ol Firefox 2 if you will. Please be aware that Firefox 3 Beta 4 is in development stage, and they have advocated that unless you are a developer you should not download it. (who cares anyway? it is rather stable) At this point in time, many if not all plug-ins and toolbars which work for Firefox 2 do not work on Firefox 3.

As for Safari 3.1, it is not wrong to say that this is the first workable Safari on the Windows platform. From personal experience, previous Safari versions on Windows XP have constantly crashed while surfing. This is the cheapest way to get the feel of a Mac on your Windows PC!

Internet Explorer has also launched IE8 for beta downloads, but well, IE8 fails to load many pages properly.  =S

But hey, try these 2 browsers! Anything is better than the annoying and slow Internet Explorer. To my disappointment, many government websites in Malaysia do not optimize their websites for anything other than Internet Explorer. These people are backward man… =.=

I applied for the National Infocomm Scholarship (half-heartedly, thus I filled up the application form at my whim and fancy) at the urge of my mum here and my aunt in Singapore.

(I’m sorry I posted this a day after the deadline of application for this scholarship but I wanted to just share what this scholarship is all about.)

Firstly, for the overseas programme, the scholarship offers to pay tuition fees, allowances, accomodation costs, airfare costs, medical expenses, etc. It covers many engineering courses such as E & E, computer engineering, information systems, etc. The Overseas Full Scholarship comes with a 5-year bond and if one is not a Singaporean, one has to become a Singapore PR. Is that good?

But here is another take on this scholarship by Jiin Joo, a Malaysian who is currently working in Singapore for the Infocomm Development Authority (former ASEAN Scholar): 9 Considerations for National Infocomm Scholarship

One thing in particular gained my attention from Jiin Joo’s post.

5. Do you know the difference between a salaried job and running your own shop?

Entrepreneurs beware. This is perhaps one of the most un-thought of consequence - the fact you have to run your passion “part time” while “bidding your time” in some government agency. This will be particularly true for geeks and wannabes as they are naturally attracted to NIS. You might say, hey, I don’t really have a passion, but you forget the fact that perhaps after going through uni life, you might hit on THE thing you want to do, and lo-and-behold, it doesn’t exists in Singapore, if not your bonded organization. You can’t be good at something you only do part time.

Ha! That is what I am afraid of! Landing on some great idea as an wannabe entrepreneur and being unable to work on it just because I am bonded to some stupid scholarship! This point applies to all scholarships as well, in fact. This is indeed a dilemma. No one makes it big doing something part-time. But without any scholarship, I will not have enough funds to study in the US in the first place. Is there another way out? How else would I get the money to go there?

Another interesting point regarding this particular scholarship is how Hongyi advised Haoyi not to apply for any scholarship in Singapore. Haoyi was considering applying for the National Infocomm Scholarship but his elder brother Hongyi advised him against it in a letter. (Hongyi and Haoyi are Lee Hsien Loong’s sons, and thus also Lee Kuan Yew’s grandchildren) Even though this account does not hold anything against the NIS Scholarship in particular, it reveals the sentiments that fills the minds of every bonded scholar in town (Lee Hsien Loong’s son notwithstanding)

Can there be another way out? It would be agonizing to get a bonded scholarship and then realizing that there are so many funding opportunities, grants and scholarships waiting for me when I am already there in the US. But the first step would have to be a leap of faith, paying my way there on my own first.

Well, 8 days to Stanford decisions and also those from Cornell and Princeton. I shall wait and see.

I want to thank my friends who were willing to come to my church’s Easter drama this weekend. It was a fantastic drama production, and many people were saved during this Easter weekend. Despite the rain, you guys who came on Saturday braved it and came nevertheless! God bless you all.

Well I recently watched a video (above) depicting a skit about a girl who was initially walking closely with Christ and enjoying His presence (thanks Rachel for sharing this video), but later many things came into her life and separated her from Jesus. I call them demons. First was a relationship with a man against the will of God, then it was money and material longings. Then there was drinking and alcoholism. Later on it was influences from the outside world (images of beauty) that made her feel depressed and insecure. Subsequently suicidal temptations arose from this insecurity. All these demons came between her and God. Perhaps this girl was looking for happiness in many forms in this world. But she only ended up with anything but happiness. Her life was in a mess. The demons would not allow her to get back to Christ on the other side. She struggled and struggled to get back on track. But they resisted violently. She wanted those days walking in joy with Jesus again. She longed for peace from God. As she was about to give up in her attempt to seek Jesus, Jesus steps in and protects her from these demons. Jesus overpowers all these demons; the girl regains her strength and revels in the joy of the Lord.

Now as I look upon the friends around me, I realize that many struggle with all kinds of demons in their lives. I have many friends who smoke and just cannot seem to quit the habit. They smoke a pack a day or maybe even more. Many go clubbing and get themselves drunk sometimes. They indulge in physical pleasures. Even games can sometimes be a demon. Many guys are trapped in the habit of playing online games for hours and hours or even for days and days without control. Some decide that happiness can be found by looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend to touch and have physical contact with, even if the relationship is shallow and meaningless. Well, some might not agree with me but all these things cannot bring lasting happiness and I believe so ever so strongly. As illustrated in the skit above, these things come between us and God, separating us from the One who can really provide the antidote to that void in our souls. No matter how hard you try to be happy, as long as you continue to live such a lifestyle full of dmons, you can never attain it. As my pastor says, “You can be sincere (in your pursuit of happiness), but you can be sincerely wrong.” Happiness is attained through a relationship with God the Father and Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. Break the bondage and free yourself from the chains of those demons. Call upon and cry out to Jesus! He will come and rescue you!

This song “Cry out to Jesus” by Third Day (also thanks again to Rachel for reminding me of this song) really illustrates this well:

To everyone who’s lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there’s nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

Chorus:
There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
And love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He’ll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that’s struggling just to hang on
They’ve lost all of their faith in love
And they’ve done all they can to make it right again
Still it’s not enough

For the ones who can’t break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you’re not alone in your shame
And your suffering

Chorus

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Chorus

Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. He died on the cross about 2000 years ago for our sins (ever wondered why this year is 2008?) Indeed, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ was a real historical incident that shook the world at that time. His innocent blood was shed so that you and me, sinners, could be forgiven. He sacrificed Himself so that we, sinners, can approach God and have a relationship with Him. We cannot save ourselves. Only Jesus can.

If you feel drawn to the message in this post, make no mistake about it. God is speaking to you. He wants to know you and He wants to fellowship with you. Say this prayer: “Lord, please forgive me of my sins and I repent of all my past sins. I accept you as the Lord of my life from now onwards. Renew me and transform me into the person that you want me to be. I want to follow Jesus and accept Him as my Saviour. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me. From this point onwards, I am saved! Amen.”

Wham! Just with a short prayer like that, and you are already saved. It is just that simple. No rituals, no idols, no proceedings. Just talk to God aloud. He is a LIVING GOD. He created you and me in a very special way. He loves you very much.

Jesus was crucified, descended into Hell, and on the third day He rose again. Jesus Christ defeated Death.

Blessed Easter everyone!

(If you said the prayer, do keep in contact with me so that I can help you in your walk with Christ and integrate you into a church. The walk with Christ is a very exciting journey.)

“Huh? What are you talking about? Why should I kiss dating goodbye? Are you nuts? Shouldn’t this be the age when we go out for as many dates as possible and as often as we like to see who we are compatible with? You are a fool, Ern Sheong, for trying to tell me to stop dating. It would never happen.”

I recently read a thought-changing and mind-renewing book by Joshua Harris entitled “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” It encourages us to look beyond dating for the fulfillment of the moment and instead exhorts that we withhold the desire to date until the day we are ready for a long-term commitment. A sentence from the book sums up the entire message: ‘The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.’

“Why?” you ask. Simply because being with someone now without consideration of commitment is actually a very selfish act as we only gratify ourselves and not the needs of the other person as well. When commitment is not in the equation, the relationship is only waiting for the end to come as there is no lasting commitment.

Another point is that God already has better plans in store for us. He wants us to focus on Him first and not be distracted by dating. He wants us to serve Him whole-heartedly first instead of dwelling on thoughts of whether this girl or guy likes us or not. When the right time comes, God will reveal someone to us, once we are ready for commitment.

That is just a gist of what the book is trying to tell us. I encourage you (unless you are already married) to pick up a copy of this book today at major Christian bookstores. If you were wondering, the writer of this book did indeed get married to his dream sweetheart. That is living proof that you will not be left as a single for the rest of your lives despite reading this book!

This post is in response to the post written by Kevin Chan, a former DJian who is currently working as a temporary teacher in SMKDJ.

Now, for the main reason I wanted to write this post, our very own disquieting headmistress - the Datin. Well, she IS my current boss, considering that I’m working in SMKDJ right now, but in lieu of all that I’m hearing from all around these days, I guess it would just be a cardinal sin to stay silent anymore. Thanks John, for making me see that a ‘tidak apa’ (heck care) attitude wouldn’t help anyone and it would only further undermine all our previous efforts in making DJ the prestigious school that it now is - our spirit of meritocracy and high standards.

Well, for the benefit of all DJ alumni and current students in DJ, these are the changes that Datin has implemented (or at least tried to implement) so far (this is by no means a comprehensive list, just some of the things that I remember):

1. Attempted to shut down the cheerleading squad.
2. Attempted to shut down our school’s strong Christian Fellowship (CF).
3. Made it mandatory that co-curricular clubs must have a certain number of Malays in their executive committee.
4. Took in a large number of Malay students into the prefectorial board without an interview. Note that other non-Malay students have to go through a rigorous selection and interview process before they are accepted as probationary prefects.
5. Reduced the number of periods a week for additional mathematics and increased the number of periods used to teach modern mathematics (which is largely regarded as an easier subject, unless you happen to come from a different planet), resulting in teachers making students stay back for extra classes. Didn’t we also use to stay back for extra classes back in the time where we had more add math periods?

Let me make this clear that this is by no means a puerile attempt at defamation, but genuine concern for the future of SMKDJ. I am in no way anti-Malay; my dear Hamlet is very much Malay and she can so testify to that, but the injustice in my alma mater these days just fills me and quite a few other concerned DJ alumni with indignation.

I believe that DJ has always stood out in so many things ranging from sports, debates, cheerleading to our overall school culture because we were fair.

Also read about Andrew’s Loh’s response to this issue. Andrew has also added points 6,7 and 8 based on current DJian feedback.

I have personally heard of all these stories myself from many people. It turns out that most, if not all, are true. Kudos to Kevin for speaking out vehement and doing something about it.

Well, so far a lot of discussion between DJians has been happening online about this. Ex-DJians, generate support and inform your little brothers and sisters in DJ to give feedback to Kevin or Andrew! Although I am strongly skeptical about the possibility of removing Datin from her post, we can at least define some boundaries for her to follow through the proper channels. DJ is supposed to be meritocratic! SMK Damansara Jaya is not just ANY school an outsider Pengetua can come and tamper with.

In the meanwhile, Kevin will keep us all updated about this issue!

At a glance:

• The Barisan National coalition has been denied 2/3 majority by the opposition.
• Barisan secured a simple majority to form the government.
• The Democratic Action Party (DAP) won every parliamentary and state seat it contested in Penang.
• The combined opposition of DAP, PKR (Parti Keadilan Rakyat) and PAS (Parti Islam Semalaya) will form the new government in Perak.
• PAS and PKR won 40 of the 45 state seats in Kelantan, with BN taking the rest.
• PAS and PKR have won 22 out of 36 state seats in Kedah.
• Opposition takes Selangor (State seats: PKR 15, DAP 13, PAS 8 out of 56)
• Opposition captured 10 of the 13 parliamentary seats in the Federal Territories.

Shocks:

• Datuk Seri Shahrizat (Minister for Women, Family and Community Development) loses Lembah Pantai seat to PKR’s Nurul Izzah Anwar
• Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon (Gerakan Acting President) lost to Dr P Ramasamy in Batu Kawan
• Datuk Seri Sami Vellu (Works Minister) lost to Dr D. Michael Jayakumar
• Datuk Lee Hwa Beng (Subang Jaya Assemblyman) lost to Loh Gwo Burne in Kelana Jaya
• Datuk Seri Zainuddin Maidin (Information Minister) lost to PKR’s Johari Abdul in Sungai Petani
• Chew Mei Fun loses PJ Utara seat to Tony Pua Kiam Wee (I am shocked)

Finally, Malaysians have voted to make their voices heard. The election results stunned many Malaysians (I was certainly shocked), who did not expect the Opposition to capture so many states. This is the power of the democratic voice. It shows that our votes have power and our voices can be heard in Malaysia. The people in many constituencies basically decided that they would vote for any party as long as it is not the BN.

But the BN is still in control of the Federal Government, and as Wong Chun Wai says in his column in the Sunday Star, the BN might have to review its numerous projects in states lost to the Opposition. This might mean that Selangor, the most industrialized state in Malaysia, will be affected in many ways, he says. Penang has also gone down to the Opposition, but will this have effect on the industries there? Penang is home to large multinationals like Intel and Dell who make Penang their manufacturing hub.

Nonetheless, I echo Wong’s closing statements in the article. The clear winner wasn’t the Opposition or the BN, it was the democratic system in Malaysia. Yesterday has shown that democracy is very much alive here in Malaysia. We Malaysians want change in this country. We are sick and tired of all the nonsense that has been happening while the BN ruled. We non-Malays are also frustrated with the discrimination in this nation, particularly the affirmative action system here.

I hope that the Opposition can now work harder to deliver their promises after this election. When many more young voters enter the legal age of voting in the next few years, Barisan National will have to watch out and work harder as well. Otherwise we young people would come in and wipe the BN out and deny them of even a simple majority.

I nearly fainted today when I read this:

I feel angry and cheated. (I was rejected, you see) But who cares now anyway. Not me. Stupid MCA propaganda. Why not make the comparison between the number of bumiputera students getting the scholarship as opposed to the number of non-bumiputeras? It is almost certain that a disparity in equality would surface.

Then, would MCA really have worked? I doubt so.

I was tagged TWICE. (Stefanie Lip and Kevin Chan tagged me.) =(

1. What was your dream during your childhood?
To be the Prime Minister of Malaysia. (Really? Maybe it was something like that. Too bad I’m Chinese.) Then it changed to pilot, to doctor, to who knows what…

2. Do you like rainy days or sunny days? Why?
Sunny. I don’t like it to rain when I want to go out for a jog. =)

3. Which colour do you like better? Black or White?
White. White Macbooks are really cool. Hey but so are Black Macbooks. Black then. Whatever la

4. Who would you marry?
A girl with beautiful character who is patient enough to deal with my stubbornness and bad attitudes.

5. Where do you want to go most? Why?
1) Stanford University to study. Stanford rocks la.
2) Around the world. The world is beautiful. I want to see it.

6. Which part of yourself do you love the most?
I love all just the same.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
If it affects others: Keep silent and reflect about life. Encourage the person if possible. Realise that life is so much more than striving.
If it affects me: Pray. Reflect silently. Pour out on others.

8. What are you afraid of losing the most?
My loved ones. Family and friends. The trust and faith of people.

9. If you met someone you love, would you confess to him/her? Or just keep it secret, observing?
Yeah I certainly would. But I’ll wait for a good time and not rush it.

10. List out 3 good points of the one who tagged you.
Stefanie Lip: Well-organized, reliable and trustworthy.
(Stefanie Lip was Secretary of DJ Prefect Board during my year. She did an awesome job. Her document formats are still being used by the prefects in DJ today.)

Kevin Chan: Great public speaker, creative, helpful
(Kevin Chan was DJ Assistant Head Prefect and did a marvelous job. His support was instrumental in the Board.)

11. What are the requirements that you wish for your other half?
Accepts and loves me for being me, not because of what I can be.

12. Up to now, what is the moment you regret most?
Can’t think of any, frankly. No regrets. Sorry to disappoint.

13. Which type of person do you hate most?
An arrogant person.

14. What is your ambition?
To start a company and grow it into a global magnitude.

15. Would you rather be someone else at this very moment?
No. I love the way I am.

16. If you can have 2 dreams to come true, what would it be?
1) Long term: I am able to establish a company that lasts beyond my lifetime and thrives worldwide.
2) Short term: Study at Stanford University.

17. What do you think is most important in your life?
Keeping the faith and the Word.

18. Who’s your favourite cartoon character?
Doraemon. (I read Doraemon’s comics voraciously while younger)
Frankly, I don’t fancy any cartoons.

19. What will you do if the world ends tomorrow?
Save souls for Christ at the last minute.

20. The most worthwhile decision you’ve ever made in your life so far?
Failing PTS was a not a decision but it had I passed and skipped a Standard Five, many many wonderful things would not have happened.
Failing to get government scholarships but getting an ASEAN Scholarship to Singapore was also not a decision but it was really worth it.
Looks like I was guided all along. I didn’t make the decisions. God did.

I tag… YOU READERS. You cannot escape!!!

I am writing this in response to Seah Chiang Nee’s “Insight Down South” column published in The Star last Saturday, 23 February 2008 titled “Goodbye and Thank You.”

We Malaysians like to compare our government to that of Singapore’s, which we all think is much better in governing and producing results (which unfortunately is undeniably true). Recently Malaysia’s PM Abdullah was even prompted to say that “They are grapes… and we are (an) apple. How can you compare grapes with an apple? We can’t,” when he told top civil servants not to compare Singapore’s economy with that of Malaysia’s. Certainly such a remark reflects the awareness of many that despite being such a small country, Singapore is doing so much better than the country which dumped it out in 1965.

This would lead some to think that if Malaysia’s government and political system were to be improved significantly to the standards set by Singapore, Malaysians would be a contented lot. After all, with such an efficient and clean government, what is there to complain about? Malaysians would no longer want to look elsewhere to migrate and instead would love to stay here and bask in the glory of this country, right? If everything were to be based on meritocracy, everyone would be happy and contented. No more racial influence in decisions. Then Malaysians would love this country even more. Leaving the country for “greener pastures” would be the last thing on their mind.

Really?

Then how come Singapore is facing an emigration rate which is one of the highest in the world on a per capita basis? How come the grandson of Lee Kuan Yew, who is the elder son of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong and is studying in the United States, has signaled that he might not return to the ‘little red dot’ south of Malaysia? How come the children of many Singapore Cabinet ministers have decided to stay in UK or US instead of returning to Singapore? As Seah writes, “Years of strong economic growth have failed to stem Singapore’s skilled youths from leaving for a better life abroad, with the number topping 1000 a year.”

Of course, there are reasons given for leaving Singapore. Some of them are high living costs, enhanced career prospects overseas, preference for a more relaxed lifestyle, and even uncertainty about Singapore’s future. Some blame it on Singapore’s authoritarian leadership that punishes citizens who are critical of the government, thus preventing them from speaking out freely. Others feel that foreigners are taking away their jobs and perks, causing the local society to be an amalgamation of foreigners and Singaporeans, with the proportion of the former steadily increasing. Such insecurities lead Singaporeans to look abroad. I have been there in Singapore myself. These sentiments are real and true. (I was a foreigner there as well, haha)

So, as much as I would want Malaysia to raise its standards of governance and thrive economically to the degree of Singapore’s success, I have seen for myself how Singaporeans themselves are leaving or are considering leaving despite living in a country which has become the envy of not just Malaysia but of many nations.

We Malaysians like to complain and complain about many things around us, which is good because it means that we have not lost hope in this country and would like to see things happen the way we think is best. I will definitely continue to grouse and gripe about the inefficiencies that plague this nation.

But look at what is happening now. Even Singapore is facing emigration problems (brain-drain, although it is gaining more net brain power than what they are losing). Malaysia, with all its flaws, is also facing emigration (to a larger degree i suppose).

To put it loosely in Manglish: ‘Good also leave, not good also leave.’

The irony.

The Microsoft-Yahoo Marriage

Microsoft has launched an unsolicited hostile bid for Yahoo! at the price of USD 44.6 BILLION. They have the intention to take on the world’s No. 1 internet search leader, Google, which is by far the one with the largest market share of internet searches and is making much more revenue in online advertising than Yahoo’s and Microsoft’s revenues combined. This is a classic case of the No. 2 and No. 3 teaming up to compete with the No. 1. If successful, this deal would eventually mean that the world of search would be handled by a duopoly, Google and Microsoft. As David Drummond, Senior Vice President, Corporate Development and Chief Legal Officer of Google puts it in the Google Blog:

So Microsoft’s hostile bid for Yahoo! raises troubling questions. This is about more than simply a financial transaction, one company taking over another. It’s about preserving the underlying principles of the Internet: openness and innovation.

Could Microsoft now attempt to exert the same sort of inappropriate and illegal influence over the Internet that it did with the PC? While the Internet rewards competitive innovation, Microsoft has frequently sought to establish proprietary monopolies — and then leverage its dominance into new, adjacent markets.

Indeed, Microsoft, the Windows OS and software giant is witnessing a boom in the growth of companies such as Google and Apple, which now directly threaten its very existence. It seems to be switching strategies to play catch-up with the online advertising leaders by offering a bid to swallow Yahoo!

Yahoo!
Brian McGuiness/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

Reactions gathered about this bid go both ways. Some say that if Microsoft and Yahoo join hands, the world benefits from having a more sizable competitor for Google, thus enabling users to enjoy the benefits of healthy competition that churns out better innovation. Perhaps this might be so, but Google’s search technology is far more superior to that of MSN’s or Yahoo!’s. Proof? Just use it yourself. It has been ages since I have used a Yahoo! search engine or MSN Search. When I did, Google inevitably gives me more quality results for my searches. So the Microsoft-Yahoo company must come up with an even better technology to rival Google’s PageRank algorithms.

Microsoft

Here’s what Steven Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft Corporation wrote in a letter to the board of directors of Yahoo!:

Microsoft and Yahoo! can offer a credible alternative for consumers, advertisers, and publishers. Synergies of this combination fall into four areas:

— Scale economics: This combination enables synergies related to scale economics of the advertising platform where today there is only one competitor at scale. This includes synergies across both search and non-search related advertising that will strengthen the value proposition to both advertisers and publishers. Additionally, the combination allows us to consolidate capital spending.

– Expanded R&D capacity: The combined talent of our engineering resources can be focused on R&D priorities such as a single search index and single advertising platform. Together we can unleash new levels of innovation, delivering enhanced user experiences, breakthroughs in search, and new advertising platform capabilities. Many of these breakthroughs are a function of an engineering scale that today neither of our companies has on its own.

– Operational efficiencies: Eliminating redundant infrastructure and duplicative operating costs will improve the financial performance of the combined entity.

— Emerging user experiences: Our combined ability to focus engineering resources that drive innovation in emerging scenarios such as video, mobile services, online commerce, social media, and social platforms is greatly enhanced.

However, another concern is the integration of two behemoths with its different set of cultures and work-ethics. Also, Yahoo! and Microsoft are now bleeding talent to many other start-ups such as Facebook, Mozilla and many younger start-ups. By the time the acquisition is over, the talents that drove both Yahoo! and Microsoft may already be drained. Many of the engineers there have left or are talking about leaving.

In the meantime, Google has came out publicly against the bid by Microsoft, referring the offer as a threat to competition.

A NY Times article reports:

Privately, Google, seeing the potential deal as a direct attack, went much further. Its chief executive, Eric E. Schmidt, placed a call to Yahoo’s chief, Jerry Yang, offering the company’s help in fending off Microsoft, possibly in the form of a partnership between the companies, people briefed on the call said.

Google’s lobbyists in Washington have also begun plotting how it might present a case against the transaction to lawmakers, people briefed on the company’s plans said. Google could benefit by simply prolonging a regulatory review until after the next president takes office.

What would happen next?