Cluttered Mind
So many many things in my mind lately. Cluttered and too many things running around. Let’s catch some of them and place them in words.
1) Weirdly, NUS says that my application is still in “Application Processing” mode even though almost all of my friends already know of their admission decision into NUS. Maybe they are rejecting me because I told them that I am retracting the NUS Double Degree application (Business & Engin. combined). NTU gave me a spot in the NTU-Georgia Tech program even though I told them that I am retracting my application after they asked me to submit more supporting documents. I got lazy, told them I am withdrawing NTU application, and got accepted. The irony.
The thing is, going to Berkeley ain’t cheap. Half a million ringgit of cash splashed, and I might not even get a high paying job upon graduation, especially if I fail to secure a job in the US and have to come back home to Malaysia. The cost does not justify potential earnings. I am entertaining the thought of just going to Singapore and get that dumb piece of paper called a degree. On the other hand, job aside, Berkeley might expose one to lots of new stuff and give a wholely different experience that might come useful, in some way, maybe in starting a tech venture. So yeah. A gamble indeed.
2) YEAH this pisses me off a lot. Drivers who fail to signal when switching lanes or cutting into your lane. I might be driving a small car, but please signal la when cutting in. At least when you signal, I know and will most of the time let you through as a reward for your courtesy to signal. DON’T BARGE IN LIKE THAT. (Volvo, BMW tai sai ar) Or I’ll HONK =)
Malaysian drivers.
OH yeah there was this joke my colleague related to me. So one day a listener called Mix FM and told the DJ, “Penang drivers are really terrible la.” Another called in and said (obviously a Penang lang) “Where got, in KL the drivers are also like that what. Bad driving.”
Killer statement by yet another caller, “You know why KL got bad drivers or not. They all come from Penang and drive in KL.”
3) Hmmm in my job, I have been going to a lot of places, including the abodes of wealthier people to do some maintainance. I don’t know, but it feels weird. Big houses, big and nice cars, luxuries that I see, makes me wonder whether this is really what I want to own. If I had a lot of cash, would I self-gratify, indulge in all these nothings and be arrogant and think that I’ve got it all? It’s very easy to do that if you are rich. So dangerous to be trapped like that. Live like a king and all, think that one is so big and awesome. Yeah when I drive in my Kancil I will go “ooooo, wahhh, niceeee” at the Toyotas and Hondas and BMWs etc etc., thinking of when I can have enough cash to get a Toyota etc., but is this really the objective of it all? Materials and all. Many of us would like that. But if a man were really to be judged by the abundance of his possessions, then there can be only one winner in this world, i.e. Warren Buffet at the current moment. Judging by this, the rest might as well be losers. Of course, this cannot be the case.
Being a Christian complicates matters. On one hand, it is OK to be rich, but be generous givers. On the other hand, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Note: Hard, but not impossible. More discussion on Bible verses about wealth and riches in a later post.) My say is that it is perfectly fine to be wealthy, though many Christians today advocate self-denial and living “poorly” since they say that the Bible says things like “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” But the world screams money and wealth, and if Christiany means that one has to beg in the streets, who would want to become a Christian? The truth is, Jesus’s disciples were very wealthy people. I’ll elaborate in another post.
Even in church, sometimes people give testimonies announcing that God has blessed them financially (yes that’s good and praise the Lord for that) but I don’t really agree with the part that they go on saying that they have recently bought a Mercedes [fill in latest model here] (this is the part that feels wrong to me) as proof that they have been financially blessed. Big deal ah saying you got a Mercedes? A car is a car. What is a Mercedes for if not to flaunt and show off? Sigh. I don’t know. It’s not that I am against people with big cars, but then again who am I to judge anyway? I am not God. But all I want to say in this paragraph is that when someone drives a big car, says he drives a big car etc., my perception of that person, justified or not, points toward arrogance and self-importance. This is the perception I get, to be brutally frank.
This is my stand on riches and wealth: 1) Being rich is not wrong. God needs money for His works too. 2) Tithes and offerings are obligatory and mandatory. God commands us to render to God the things that are God’s. 3) Be a generous giver. One must give in order to receive! But give not to receive but to serve others and shower love on others, especially the needy. 4) Don’t love money, and don’t let money be your God. Now who can say, “I wish to be poor”? The fact is that we all wish that we can have financial freedom, be rich, and not be in lack financially. But how will you live your life once you have all these things? I think how you live your life when you are rich it is more important than having the riches itself. After all, this fact remains: we enter the world with nothing, and we depart with nothing.
The question I challenge all readers to ponder: How will you live your life when you are wealthy? Never forget that it is God who gave the power to get wealth. Give more to those in need? Flaunt it all to fulfill one’s material desires? It’s your choice.
4) Makes me think, I’ve applied to 8 scholarships, only one replied so far, i.e. Shell. Never intended to go into Oil and Gas, so ended up not going for the interview, plus the bond would be unbearable for person like me. Guess I shouldn’t complain about not getting scholarship since I am so choosy. But you get the point. Easier to win a lottery today than to get a scholarship, no matter how good you THINK you are.
[see what months of no intense studying and exams can do to one's brain. my recent blog posts are proof that the gap period before starting intensive further studies makes me think a lot, some might say too much. but it's good. sets the priorities right.]
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Some things cannot be rushed.
Infatuation or not infatuation? Perhaps I’ll give a few years to tell the difference. But things will be very different then. Oh, how hard it is to embrace the notion of keeping my eyes on God and serving Him wholeheartedly, everything for Him, doing God’s will at the current moment in my life, instead of dwelling in uncertain hopes and desires that plagues the mind. But today was something lifted. This burden. Maybe now I can give God my 100% attention. As long as I don’t entertain those thoughts. My naive mind.
wow you really think a lot about these kinda things… if I understand your post correctly, here’s what I think.
While living in this world, people tend to forget that in the end we’re still organisms like other animals. Being rich and poor is part of a culture or survival method built by mankind. And as you know, in survival, the strong will have a higher chance of survival. Like it or not, being rich does increase your chances of survival in most cases. Example, being in a car accident while driving a Merc will increase your chances of survival if compared to driving a Kancil.
Now, moving onto the spiritual side… there’s no denying that humans shouldn’t be compared to other animals in this world because we are indeed more intellectually advanced than them. Assuming that there is God, we obviously need to get in touch with our spiritual side, worship God, understand God, and the list goes on… We can’t live on our own because we’re merely just humans seeking for answers therefore we do need to confide in God most of the time.
Here, in most religion we’re told to live a moderate life and be happy with what we have. But is having the urge to earn more money and be filthy rich a wrong instinct? As humans is it really wrong? Only you can decide.
You have to choose a side at this time. Standing right at the middle will get you confused most of the time. IMHO,
you either live on the side that says: It’s okay to be filthy rich as long as I don’t forget it’s the work of God.
or: I’m gonna just live in moderation, what’s the point of being rich if I can be happy the way I am?
Ultimately you will have to find your own balance. Good luck and all the best. =)
in reply to vic: I dunno what IMHO means, and “filthy rich” and “moderation” could mean the same thing don’t you think? They’re both really subjective… I could think this is moderation for me, but you think it’s filthy rich… so maybe in the end there’s only one side? aha… I hope you get me, cuz I don’t really get myself.
to ern sheong: I love your posts lately!! More food for thought!! And whichever path you choose, I’ll support you =)
Rachel: “In my honest opinion”
Most of what I wrote in my reply are metaphors actually. Because it’s hard to explain everything unless I write a whole super long article. Yes, the subjective part is something I thought of elaborating but of course that would be too long to write. Even the term wrong or right can be subjective. But perhaps you could think of it this way… moderation, having enough to eat and be healthy, entertain yourself etc… overspending, buying 3 sports car although you only use 1 of them, having 2 LCD tv sets when it’s unnecessary etc.
Vic: lol.. my point would then be that i’m really kiasu and i really think it’s necessary for me to have 2 spare sports cars…
but i’m arguing for the sake of arguing =)
see u in uni!
Sorry ern sheong for the misuse of ur comment umm.. thing.. hehe
before i went out for dinner, i saw two comments. i just came back. 4 comments. HAHAHA. some bickering here =)
sometimes the issue is whether one can be a big earner in the first place. Big as in REAL BIG. Sometimes one can work real hard and still earn so much less than some people. But then it ain’t a competition to see who earns more.
I think for Christians the most important thing is to ensure that money is not our God. God is our God. And because God is the richest person in the entire universe he can bless us abundantly the way he sees best. If God thinks we can handle more once we have proven Him to be faithful with much less in the past, then you can be sure that he will entrust you with more. (Parable of the Talents) And we, in turn, bless others around us. In fact, God is not against rich people. The bible says, “Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.” -1 Timothy 6:17-19
So God has COMMANDED the rich to obey his COMMANDS so that we do not depart from His presence. You can be rich, but do not idolize riches and do not hold on to the money so tightly. Give it away for good causes. In this respect there’s also another warning, do not seek personal glory by giving away to charity while sounding your trumpet for all to see. The Bible also says, give such that “…when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,…” (Matthew 6:3)
Someone announced to the congregation that he bought a luxury car as proof that God has financially blessed him? Er… that sounds questionable. I wonder whether he was praising God or was prompting the congragation to praise him?
My stand on riches and wealth:
1. Being rich is not wrong. God blesses people financially so that through them His will can be done. Think Christian businessmen or Warren Buffet. In fact, even non-Christians who are rich are blessed so that they can help the needy elsewhere. See how God is at work subtly?
2. Tithes and offerings are *NOT* obligatory nor mandatory. The notion of *COMPULSORY* deduction of 10% of income, in fact, turned many potential Believers away, because they think they are leaving their belief into another religion, with more rules and regulations to bog them down, rather than a relationship filled with love and wonder.
” 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ” 2 Cor 9:7
Now, God loves a cheerful giver, not an obliged giver. Jesus has illustrated this when He told the disciples that the poor widow who put two copper coins in for the offering put in more than the rich people who threw in large amounts, while was in Jerusalem. If we give on the note of “oh, I have to give because it is in the rules” - and some churches are making it seems like that! - then there is no love and trust in such offierings, only rules, more rules. Yes, God commands us to render to God the things that are God’s… well, everything is God’s. He doesn’t need anything from us, and He can give and take anytime He wants, but in His loving mercy He chooses to let us choose whether we want to give to Him to display our trust that He will always provide and care for us. Start with the right attitude and give not because we have to - always keep in mind that we don’t have to! - but because we want to.
3. Give because you love giving. This is what I have come to learn as a Christian. Grace ( = getting what we don’t deserve) is a concept that is unique to God, so if we give, expecting something in return, grace is no longer a quality in us. Give freely and joyfully. Remember that God doesn’t oblige us to give… one can be a Christian and not give, but giving shows how close we are to being like Jesus, because Jesus lived a life that is dedicated to us, every second of it.
The same applies to love. True love expects nothing in return, but I’ll tackle that issue another day.
4. Don’t love or trust in or hang on to money. Don’t say no if God asks you to choose between [insert material things] here and Him. Don’t say no if God asks you to give some money to someone.
5. When giving, look to God for discernment as to who to give to and how much to give. If we don’t give carefully, our money might end up not being used to further God’s kingdom. Even some churches are corrupted! Be careful.
“I think for Christians the most important thing is to ensure that money is not our God.” <– I think that is the most important point. Once you get that right, and you sincerely seek to do His desire, the rest will follow.
” 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33 illustrates this too… it is about focusing on God and seeking Him… we can be giving so much, yet with bitterness or indifference and our hearts far from Him, and when the trying time comes, we will be so very vulnerable to being led away from God, and that is tragic.
@ome: thanks for correcting me on the tithe part. i think i was really trying to illustrate that tithing is indeed important. but you have shown that indeed we cannot be “robotic” in our giving. you said it best that we give because we WANT to and because we HAVE to.
“true love expects nothing in return” hmmm i’m looking forward to that post. i think i fail at this, i.e. i darn well expect something in return haha. fake love =.=
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on tithing, i would like to refer to Malachi 3:8-10. This passage ought to be focused on by many churches (unfortunately many churches like the previous ones I attended does not emphasize on the importance of tithing). It says,”8 Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say,’In what way have we robbed You?’ In tithes and offerings, 9 You are cursed with a curse, For you have robbed Me, Even this whole nation, 10 BRING ALL THE TITHES into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,” Says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.” (emphasis mine) Verses 11-12 goes on to say how the Lord will continue to side and bless the tither.
the danger is that we give while focusing on the getting. and like ome said, another danger would be giving mechanically without love and a cheerful heart, but rather giving because of the “I have to” mentality. I have to be wary of this too, since tithing becomes a habit and it’s significance in my heart might diminish.
oh and i’m TRYing to kick that big car = arrogant perception. flawed premise. yeah, i might own one of these cars too one day ^^
“do or do not, there is not try” ~ yoda
ok i will kick that perception, not TRY to kick it. for all i know, bill gates or warren buffet might own one hundred of these things and be the most generous guys in the world
alright, im selfish and im gonna use this comment box fr my own purposes. Hahahha.
anyway, Ernie, would you be so kind to post this pic on yr blog? It’s an ad for my new ‘What Women Want’ series. make sure you catch it on friday. 
http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj83/planar_rebirth/whatwomenwant.jpg
Cheers, mate!
I understand what you were trying to put across Ern Sheong. Tithing is important, because it helps in development of (at least) two kinds of spiritual discipline: 1. kindness and 2. trust in God. Nobody is going to accuse us of sinning if we don’t tithe - well, they can’t - but by not tithing we hurt our spiritual growth. It’s our loss. I’d compare it to people who are lukewarm Christians. God still is the “fire insurance” for them, but they miss out on God’s life-transforming power. It’s their loss.
The passage, Malachi 3:8-10 that you brought up is important, because (I think) it is God’s challenge issued to us re: tithing. Do we believe in God’s promise that if we give God, He will give back to us, and give more? We all know that God’s economy is different from the world: “give, and you will be given”. That is His promise. To tithe sincerely is to tell God that we know that all things are from Him and we are only given all this “on loan”, and that we trust He will be Jehovah Jireh, hence we hold nothing back from Him.
Of course, the (positive) side effect is that we will be blessed financially in return by God, and just as there is no harm in being rich, there is no harm in God giving us as the result of us being faithful to Him, and perhaps get that dream car. XD
I think churches should teach about tithing at full length to get the understanding right. Misconceptions re: tithing includes that it is compulsory (I *HOPE* it is well-intentioned, but people might never end up developing a joy in giving) and that it is equilavent to making merits (we do not do good deeds to be saved, we are saved by grace… we do good because we want to!). Many churches shorten the explanation, and I think this is dangerous. I take a real-life example from my Singapore church (sorry! not accusing here) which said that tithing is “apparently, heaven’s income tax”. What is your impression of income tax? Compulsory. Burden. If someone was on a path back to God and heard that on top of his normal income tax, he pays 10% more when He becomes a Christian, obviously enough he will get scared away. A Christian who didn’t understand tithing fully will miss the true point of tithing altogether.
Re: love… Haha no la, liddat it is not fake love per se. Fake love is you act like you love someone when you don’t, which we don’t do.
Trust me, God knows our fears of loving for self-seeking purposes, and He smiles at it, because it demonstrates that we long to love more like Him, whose love is true and pure, and that is a good sign. ^^ What I was trying to say was that as humans our love is not perfect. We grow weary, tired, demanding… God doesn’t.
Apart from God’s definition of love, our own definition is subjective, (it is one of the most difficult words to define!) and by no means do I claim that mine is perfect. I’d quote 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for the best start. God’s definition of love is perfect. He really got it spot on.
For some reason I am enjoying this. XD Actually, while I was typing this comment, I almost put across one of my sentences wrongly by shortening it. Thank God I felt led to share the paragraph with someone, and she corrected it. Oh, the dangerous of summarizing stuffs.
wah ome thanks for the comment man. i mean, how many people actually bother typing comments, and this one is looong. =) good read. Unfortunately, many churches today don’t even touch verses on wealth and money and tithing. I know because I have been to some of those. It’s everything but the money issue. Anyway, at least you and I are aware of that now, unlike myself last time when I didn’t.
Best definition of all: 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
=) Thanks for insightful blogging too, it’s a joy to reply to your posts. Yeah, now that we are aware of what God really has to say re: money issue we can be thankful and set our priorities right.
Yes, it is the best definition of all. God knows best, because He himself is love, and He created us out of love. ^^