Who is in control?
It is always easy to say that I’ll leave things to God to control and let Him take care of everything. But it is always a constant struggle between Him and myself battling for control over my life and its course. No matter how I want to surrender control to God, a part of me yells to go that way and this way and that way… Yet there is nothing that I can do about the circumstance but wait and wait… I plead to God to go that way, but it may not eventually be so. Why am I not giving up control?
A recent MSN chat with a friend highlighted this conversation:
Friend: One book once asked me this… imagine you’re hiring someone to take control of your life, and there are two applicants, yourself and God. Who are you going to choose?
Me: Of course the right answer is God right
Friend: Yea lar… So why keep fighting for control…
Me: Aiya… True also
It’s so easy to say that God will take care of it and lead to the best possible path. But internally things are rather different, albeit I must say that the anxieties are exponentially diminished with the realization that God is in control. It just takes a mustard seed of faith to believe so. Truthfully, my eyes are myopic and too focused to see the big picture. But thank God that He has that weakness covered up for me.
“A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” (Prov 16:9)
With that I want to say that I have submitted all that can possibly be submitted for my US University applications, including the Stanford Optional Update Form (with an additional “insightful” essay attached. Kiasu eh?). Just completed the Financial Aid forms and FeDex-ed it to the other side of the globe. I have planned and executed to my fullest ability. It is now a waiting game. I now wait for the Lord’s direction.
Stanford, MIT, Cornell, Berkeley or Princeton? Or none at all?
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