I have decided
By Ern Sheong | January 25, 2010
Thanks again for all your prayers. I am really glad that I went to the retreat this past weekend.
A shocking thing that Jesus said in Matthew 7:
21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
I have been doing many things in his name, but I really never really had a personal relationship with him. I did not understand it. It eluded me.
I made what I think to be a rather significant decision. I don’t think I ever made such a decision before in my life, though I have been in church for a number of years.
I have decided now to really give everything and follow Jesus, and am not turning back.
Just as vows said between a man and a woman promising to be with each other forever, this decision implies that I have chosen to be faithful and obedient to God no matter what happens in my life. I guess all this while I have been standing on middle ground, holding something back from God – my life. I still held the keys to the door of my house, refusing to give it up. I stubbornly wanted control of my own life. And in church I have been doing lots of things, but I served as if I owed God something, and I lacked the personal relationship with Him.
As in Matthew 13:
44“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
45“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
The kingdom of heaven, the relationship with God, is a source of exceeding joy and worth, such that it is worth everything I ever had, and more. It is worthy of the sacrifice of everything. I feel very free and glad now. He now has the reigns to my life, and I no longer need to worry or be anxious, because ultimately Jesus is in control.
Luke 5:
Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.” 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.
Catching men. A wonderful phrase. Everything. They left everything. The meaning of it all is too wonderful for me. I wonder at its beauty and want to grow in its commitment..
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.
Praise the Lord. He loves me so much, he keeps on calling me. I stand in awe of his mercy.
Topics: General | No Comments »
…
By Ern Sheong | January 22, 2010
Thank you for the prayers. As it turned out, it was a sprain.
I am a Pharisee. I see it more and more in myself. I don’t know what Christianity really is, and sometimes I wish I had a “refresh” button that could help me unlearn all the misconceptions about it learnt as I grew up for 21 years. I don’t feel joy in serving. I am more like doing it for men’s applause, and for selfish reasons, to be seen as a good man. Yet the struggle that I feel inside tells me that all this is just a hoax. I don’t see the Gospel the way I should see it. I can’t even say “Jesus is everything to me”, or “Jesus is Lord” without feeling like I just told a big lie. Right now, Jesus is not everything to me, really. I don’t even know what being a Christian really is. I have answers, but they are not mine, they were fed to me through books and pulpits.
Matthew 13 kept on popping up again and again to me. Don’t know why. In Bible Study, in prayer meeting. God’s trying to tell me something. I don’t know what it means, the story of the pearl, the treasure in the field. I guess I sold something, but did not sell everything to get those treasures. I don’t even know what it means to sell everything. I don’t even know what treasure it is that I have found. I have all the intellectual and rhetorical answers, but they are not my answers. I just don’t get it. I am blind, and I want to see. But I just don’t know what to do..
There’s a winter retreat this weekend. So much work and revision to catch up, but I guess I’d go and listen, and try to find this pearl, this treasure. And see how much it’s really worth. And see whether “everything” is a good price to pay for it. Hopefully I would be like the man who sold everything “in his joy”.
Where is the joy? Why is this so burdensome, Lord? Isn’t your yoke easy and your burden light?
If it search doesn’t turn out too well, maybe I’d just abandon the search altogether. Live my own, selfish, sad life. Better than being a hypocrite.
If I die today I’d probably end up in hell for being a Pharisee. Please pray for me.
Topics: General | 2 Comments »
Clumsy me
By Ern Sheong | January 20, 2010
It’s the first day of my programming-free semester and it has been raining non-stop since early yesterday morning. Nonetheless, my spirits are high :)
I was wearing waterproof boots to campus today, and entered Dwinelle for my first class at 8 am. But Dwinelle floors were very slippery (everyone was walking in with wet shoes), so the clumsy me with a 6-kg backpack slipped and fell, and somehow for some reason my right hand was extended to try to cushion the fall.
About 8 years ago I fractured this right arm. So now my right arms hurts a bit, and I can’t do heavy stuff with it. Maybe the hairline fracture came back. Writing would hurt if I do not hold my pencil right, and it would take a few tries to get it right. Hopefully nothing too serious that would not heal in a few days.. Kindly pray for my arm if you can..
I guess the rigor of programming of last semester has been replaced with the rigor of reading for my Chinese History class (9 books this semester, 150 pages a week). Hopefully manageable.
A (dumb) joke:
Q: What does an engineering student do when he takes a class with a lot of reading?
A: He reads.
OK that’s really dumb. Nevertheless, I bid a good semester to all.
Topics: General | No Comments »
Band of Brothers
By Ern Sheong | January 13, 2010
From left: Nimalan, Wing Chuan, me, Marcus, Mr Chia, See Leong, Ch’n Yao
(Click picture to enlarge)
I bumped into this picture while looking for something earlier a few days ago (It was taken from Nimalan’s blog, which is stagnant for 4 years now) Coincidentally, all of us above were also former 37th Petaling Troop Scouts. There are many many more guys whom I really miss and are not in this picture. Also, Kevin, Aaron Tang, Victor Tham, Yam, Beng Keat, Kenneth, Jia-Yang, Jun-Xiang, Hong Yee, Siu Hong. All you guys were the core man. Without you guys (and the many many very dedicated gals), nothing that has been done could have been done.
I really miss those times, I really miss and love you guys. I wish I could relive DJ days again. Those were the best of my life, nothing replaces it. Thank you for bearing with me during those years. Hopefully the bonds last a lifetime.
I’m flying off again tomorrow morning! Bye everyone. Time to be strong and courageous yet again. Leaving home is no fun.
Topics: General | 2 Comments »
DJians please read this
By Ern Sheong | January 12, 2010
Two years ago in 2008 there was this issue that came up among DJ alumni bloggers regarding woes allegedly happening in DJ and blame was placed on the new Pengetua. Remember that issue?
Today I went to SMKDJ to pay some teachers a visit. Many of the teachers from my time are not around anymore as they have already retired, some I met are due to retire within the year or two. It’s a joy to see all the familiar faces from the good ‘ol days. Everyone said I slimmed down a lot already, haha!
Anyways, I had a chat with Puan Mary Ann (she is now the Penolong Kanan HEM, btw) and she told me that she investigated (personally looked into to get the truth on the inside) most if not all of the issues, and she took the liberty and time to expound to me one by one how the misunderstandings had occurred.
Clearly, we students on the outside do not have the full version of the story. She touched on the Prefect issue, as well as the Christian Fellowship issue, and explained that there is no grounds that the Datin is being racist at all in her leadership, as some have claimed. There was a time when all school clubs and societies were being asked to register themselves with the Ministry or something and thus the CF had to do the same, which probably caused some to think that the CF is being threatened. The DJ CF has never been shut down, and the FELDA students who were taken in as Prefects were formerly Prefects of their former school, and hence they were given the option to continue on as Prefects in DJ (they take it or they leave it) but they were placed under the same scrutiny and training that was demanded of a DJ Prefect. Moreover, there is always a need for a multi-racial Prefectorial Board to reflect the composition of the school population. And of course, with DJ being a school with heavy Chinese student presence, it is only right that the school encourages Prefects of other races to join and be empowered to take ownership of the school together as a multiracial community of students. Hence the racist claims are dismissed.
As for the Pengetua, all the teachers I met affirmed that Datin Norizan is a very responsible lady who is doing her job well and to her best ability. Puan Mary Ann said that the Pengetua has been very proactive in ensuring a Board of School Administrators that is well-balanced among the races, and Puan Mary Ann’s appointment as Penolong Kanan HEM is itself a testimony of this. A check on SMKDJ’s website today showed that in a Board of 9 school administrators, 5 are Chinese teachers and 4 are Malay teachers. Once again, the racist claims are dismissed.
After hearing Puan Mary Ann I am fully convinced that all the hype raised by some DJ bloggers including myself were unfounded. Taking Puan Soo’s advice, I have thus removed my own post written in 2008 on the matter, as the views presented during that time are not in tandem with the truth.
I would like to exhort all DJians who have posts on the same matter to remove those posts from the face of the Internet permanently. Apparently we have all forgotten about the power of the internet and of blogs, and how such posts may influence the decisions of parents who may want to send their kids to DJ. SMKDJ has always been a school of excellence, so do your part by deleting those posts right now. Leaving these posts on the internet only damages the school’s reputation and does not do a single thing to help the SMKDJ of present day.
Please follow me and do the same by deleting those posts. The school would appreciate it very much. I would like to apologize to all teachers for posting something regarding someone else’s claim without doing any investigation of the matter, and for the fact that I have posted something about which all the basis for that post was pure hearsay from secondary and tertiary sources.
Topics: SMKDJ | 1 Comment »
Be very alert
By Ern Sheong | January 11, 2010
Someone posted on my Shoutbox as “Pastor Paul Benedict” with a message allegedly telling us to remain calm and all that amidst these attacks on the churches in Malaysia. The message sounded innocent but it was rather questionable and seemed biblically wrong.
Without thinking I clicked on his link and instantly saw the link containing the word “porn” and clicked the “X” button.
This is deeply troubling. Why are some people doing this over the internet? It really really bothers me.
Please be very careful when clicking on links.
Topics: General | No Comments »
The Battle is The Lord’s
By Ern Sheong | January 11, 2010
It has been reported that there were another 2 arson attempts on a church and a school in Taiping. In Malacca, an outer wall of a church was splashed with black paint. More here.
Just because the school’s name is SMK Convent.
A friend brought to my attention Joshua 5:13-15:
13 Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?”14 “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the LORD I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?”
15 The commander of the LORD’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.
There is a good commentary on this, albeit long. Joshua saw the battle that he was about to face as his battle, rather than the Lord’s battle. He was asking the Man (Allegedly the preincarnate Christ. In NKJV “man” in the NIV version was stated as “Man” with the capital M, and the commentary notes that if this man were an angel he would have refused worship.) to pledge His allegiance to him by asking “Are you for us or for our enemies?” But the real Commander of the Army of the LORD, Jesus, has now come. It is His battle. He reminds Joshua that the battle belongs to Him.
With this assurance, we can be rest assured of God’s powerful presence and provision, even amidst these attacks. But as we serve Him in many areas, we must remind ourselves that we are not the ones who own this Battle.
The Battle is the Lord’s.
Topics: General | No Comments »
There is No One Like You Jesus
By Ern Sheong | January 10, 2010
I’m just playing around, hope that you would enjoy it :)
By Ern Sheong (most of the lyrics is from Psalm 19)
E A
The heavens declare the glory of God
E A
The skies proclaim the work of his hands
E A
Day after day they pour forth speech
E A
Night after night they display knowledge
Chorus
B A E
There is no one like you, Jesus
B A E
There is just no one like you, Jesus
There is no speech or language
Where their voice is not heard
Their voice goes out into all the earth
Their words to the ends of the world
Chorus
One day, He is coming again
Yes He is coming soon again
Come all you who are weary and burdened
Yes Jesus Christ will give you rest
Chorus x 2
Topics: General | No Comments »
Utterly outrageous: Church attacks in Malaysia
By Ern Sheong | January 8, 2010
There is only one thing sure about this world. It is messed up. Messed up.
Today 3 churches in the Klang Valley in Malaysia was attacked, or bombed. According to The Star, “The three churches were the Metro Tabernacle Church in Desa Melawati, the Assumption Church in Jalan Templer, Petaling Jaya, and the Life Chapel Church in Section 17, also in Petaling Jaya.”
Outrageous, utterly outrageous. Just as Malaysia moves ahead to progress with the 1Malaysia concept, some irresponsible parties are acting immaturely over what I see to be such a trivial issue. According to Wikipedia, “Allah” is the word used by Arabic-speakers of all Abrahamic faiths, including Christian and Jews, in reference to “God”.
But in the first place I feel that the Catholic weekly or whoever who is behind it should not have had to bring the issue to court. If it does not help in bringing the Gospel forward, we should just concede and let the other party have its way, as this is only the Christ-like thing to do. If the Muslims want to have sovereign right to use the word “Allah”, let them do so. Those who brought it to court should know better how sensitive this multiracial country is about such matters. “I AM” does not need to be referred to by the word “Allah”. “Tuhan” would have been fine, I bet God does not take offense at being called the Malay translation of “God”.
My dad remarked that he does not want to go to church tomorrow because of this. I had something to say to him, of course. My mum remarked, perhaps without much thinking, “Son, don’t come back to Malaysia. Don’t return to this place.” I also had something to say to her. We Christians have nothing to be afraid about, if we truly believe in the God of the Bible. Romans 12:17-21 says:
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far
as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.20On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
The revenge is the Lord’s. He will repay. There is nothing to be afraid of. If anything, we should all turn up in church in force, to pray for solidarity and for peace in this country. God is larger and infinitely more powerful than some cowards with little bombs.
He will avenge.
What a dangerous world we live in! Money and wealth just cannot buy security, regardless of where you are. If you are thinking of leaving Malaysia, just remember that 9/11 happened in America, and the stabbing of the Indian student happened in Australia; no matter where you are, this world is not safe anywhere, so don’t be deceived. As an aside, I am glad that our Prime Minister has condemned the attacks today.
There is still Hope in this world. Hope came down in the form of a Man. Jesus Christ came to die for our sins, and so seek and save the lost. Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life. There is just no other way. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-32:
28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Live or die, my future is secure in Christ. Amen.
Topics: General | 1 Comment »
OGDS, anyone?
By Ern Sheong | January 8, 2010
For a couple of years now, even before I left for the States to study, I have been having this condition where there is a lot of wind in my stomach, and thus a lot of burping.. I came home recently and this condition did not recede, so my mum insisted that I go see the doc, despite my resistance to that idea. As a result, I went to see the GP, but he did not help very much, and thus I went to see a Dr Suresh, a gastroenterologist at Assunta Hospital in PJ. He told me that in order to see what the problem was, I had to be sedated and have a stomach endoscopy done.
So this morning I went, 7 am in the morning.. But the nurse also told me that I could have the choice to have the endoscopy done without needing to be sedated. They would spray what I presume to be local anesthetic. I was afraid of sedation, of being unconscious, so I opted for this (without my mum’s approval, since she was outside. but hey, I’m 21!). So in the operating theatre after spraying something that felt very hot in my throat all the way down, they put a metal ring in my mouth, and made me swallow this < 1 cm rubber tubing that was then slowly pushed down through my oesophagus and into my stomach. Dang I was SO SCARED WEI until I cried, somehow my left eye was tearing a bit. Well, just a bit :) I am fully awake and they shaft this thing down my throat. But the doctor kept of speaking words of reassurance, saying “I’ll be over in a few minutes”, “Not painful wan ah”, “Nothing to be afraid of”, and so okay lor. If they did not tell me to breathe through my nose I would have not known how to breathe in my panic!
Almost immediately I was diagnosed as H.pylori (Helicobacter pylori) positive (this is for my docs-to-be friends out there to read up :) ). The doc said no stomach ulcer, no stomach cancer (phew!). I was actually prepared to die today, to be frank. Something could have gone really wrong. But thank God I live to type this. Apparently this bacteria infects during childhood but causes not much problems until later in life. If left untreated, it could even cause stomach cancer later in life, hmm. Not to mention stomach ulcers. As of now, it is causing the problem of gastritis. Antibiotics were prescribed, so there is nothing much to worry about :)
Assunta also gave me a dvd recording of the whole journey through my oesophagus and stomach. Pretty fun watching, seeing how those clippers pulled at my stomach walls to get a sample tissue. In the dvd I saw the stomach wall bleed as these samples were taken, but I felt no pain. Bill came to a whopping RM 1300, yikes, no medical insurance in Malaysia. JPA’s one only covers the US. And of course, only two things can make me see a doc in the US: 1) A screaming/pleading mum, and 2) something worthy of intensive care. I prefer nature’s healing. Well here back home point 1 made me see the doc.
So I was advised not to take sour or spicy food, because the bacteria loves acidic environments. How to be Malaysian liddat? NO spicy??
Go docs-to-be, study hard!
P.S. OGDS stands for Oesophagusgastroduodenoscopy.
Topics: General | No Comments »
