1. Early to bed, early to rise. In bed by 1 perhaps? Or 12.30? Sounds hard But I want to be up and alert before I start the day, instead of dragging myself around the entire day.
2. Not be late for my 8 am classes, or whatever first class of the day. (Had 8 am lectures Monday to Friday last semester and I was never punctual for any of them for the most of the semester)
3. Not to mention no more sleeping in lectures. (I spent most of my 8 am lectures last semester sleeping or half-asleep, especially for Physics 7B. Brian Harvey of CS61A lectured a lot of lullabys to me, but it’s my fault, not his)
4. No last minuting, but sometimes this was inevitable given the pile-up of work. Finish homework earlier than deadline.
5. Less internet and less Facebook. More face-to-face time! How about blogging? hmmm…
6. Do quiet time or devotion time at other times of the day besides the time before I go to sleep, because the will to sleep wins most of the time.
7. Work smart. I do realize that it’s the technique, not necessarily the amount of time you invest in studying. Like, doing my homework/problem set twice would have been great in enhancing understanding.

And you thought that Ern Sheong was much more responsible than this. Yup there’s a lot of work to be done on myself indeed.

I think No. 1 solves No. 2 and 3. But it’s still kinda hard. Advice anyone? I want to be that college student who does not sleep in class all the time like the way I did last semester, and be a somewhat “good” student.

Some solutions:

1. For No. 1 and 2: No computer just before bedtime, as I tend to do nonsense on it and waste time at the end of the day. And just stop what I am doing regardless. (But what if something urgent is due on the next day? Then No. 4 should prevent this in the first place? *gasps*)
2. For No. 2: Stand up in lecture and stretch and walk around. But there are a hundred people looking at me, hmmm…
3. For No. 3: I should buy some mint sweet to chew on when the Professor gets boring. It works when someone offers it to me in class as I am falling asleep, but I don’t know if I would be conscious enough to get my own sweet out in time before I go Zzzzzing…
4. For No. 6: Bring my small Bible around and use in-between class time to do it.
5. For No. 7: Well consistency works fine, and perhaps it has all got to do with the right strategy and planning.
6. Grrr.. I think the only solution to all is human will and desire to make it happen that way?

Fact is, it is really hard to not fall asleep when I AM falling asleep in the lecture already. Gosh, I tried. I told myself I WANT to stay awake, but it does not happen, unless the Professor suddenly tells a joke and of course when the class is over. Maybe human will is not enough.

And this also happens even if I had a good sleep the night before! Oh well. Can’t be that perfect I guess.

But I’ll just try.

I fell in love.

I matured much much more regarding relationships, and am committed to wait upon the Lord and leave it all to Him.

I worked as a salesman in Giant Kelana Jaya selling some wireless broadband.

I left my RM1000 hand-phone in a taxi.

I bought my RM600 hand-phone (which I am still using in the US) with my salary.

I worked as a technician driving around KL, PJ and Selangor to configure phone dialers.

I got rejected by Stanford, MIT and Princeton.

I got a windfall scholarship.

I came to Berkeley.

I met lots of genuinely caring people at Cal.

I met lots of homeless people in Berkeley, not to mention also in many cities in America.

I found a church I could belong to and be challenged through the Word and the community.

I witnessed my German and Jew roommate “fight” all the time and throw anti-German and anti-Jew jokes around.

I studied what seemed to my roommates as “all the time” and earned the title “machine” and “the guy who studies all the time.”

I pulled my first all-nighter at Cal doing some CS assignment and “died” the next day in class.

I decided to sleep more at Cal instead of staying up so late like I used to.

I saw Cal crush Stanford at the 2008 Big Game.

I had thoughts of going into full-time ministry. Well, just thoughts.

I got a C+ in Computer Science.

My dreams of starting a company somewhat faded.

I visited Philly, Boston, Washington, New York and New Jersey.

I felt snow falling in Boston.

I lay on the ground surrounded by snow at Harvard.

I walked in what I thought was the most beautiful campus ever at Princeton.

I lost my grandfather.

I thought that my mum was the most beautiful and precious person ever to love me so much.

I felt sad on my Birthday.

I realized that the world consists of more than just myself.

I felt His presence in my life.

I wait in anticipation of yet another exciting and powerful year ahead.

I thank God for all of 2008.

It has been a good holiday. I really felt that I had escaped from all the hustle and bustle of school life, these two weeks that I was here traveling in the East Coast, visiting places, seeing new things.

Someone whom I really cared about was recently called to be with the Lord, and I accepted it. It was my granddad. Sadness no longer fills me, there’s just some unexplainable peace in my heart. I thank my mum for revealing it to me even though my grandma told her not to.

I was visiting MIT, Harvard and tomorrow, Princeton, during my trip here. I realized how my heart has so much selfish ambition. Even visiting such places makes me feel envious and gives me the “I wish I was there” feeling. Well Berkeley ain’t so bad, but you know what I mean. This pursuit of ambition is something that keeps on popping up in my life. The need to draw closer to God and make Him my Lord and serve Him, and yet at the same time I want to do my own thing, wanting to be successful, wanting to be revered, for selfish reasons.

It is definitely hard to surrender everything to Lord. Harder than it seems, at least. I can say that I am surrendering to Him, and yet at the same time that is all but a lie. I speak lies all the time. I tell God I am surrendering all to Him, but in reality I am still holding on to my desires and to my own will. I tell my close friends how I am surrendering it all to Him, but in reality that is not so. I cling selfishly to my own voice.

Perhaps the first step is to stop worrying and to stop thinking ridiculously far, such as the answers to “What kind of job will I be holding in the future?” or “Where will I be living in the future, should I go home or stay here in this foreign land?” and “Who would be that girl whom I would marry one day?” It is easy to say, “Yeah, worry less and just leave it to Him!” but the mind has a way of getting back at those questions and planning its own ways, scheming our own ideals apart from God. Simply because these things are rather interesting and very infectious to our minds, since wishful-thinking has always been the way that man has used to plan his ways before him.

But that is what which has to be done. Christianity has alwasy been all about surrendering to God instead of making ourselves and other things our mini-gods. But there are also “magical” results that result from leaving it all up to Him. My mum likes to tell me that it would have been extremely burdensome to support me in the US without that scholarship. I didn’t plan that at all. And also the many encounters that I have had with certain people, all these things have changed my life, as these people have thought me many lessons that have made me much more mature.

I spent winter break reading a book called Mere Christianity. It explains the reasoning behind why there is a God, or Something higher than us that has a Mind. I would like to encourage all, Christians and Atheists alike, to read this book. But there was one striking thing that stumped me as I was reading that book. It said that, if a person were to think that another person’s actions or words were deemed arrogant, it simply proves that he is arrogant himself. Why? If I think you are arrogant, it would be because I think I am better than you, that you are thinking too much higher than what you actually are, and hence wouldn’t that be arrogance itself on your own part? I remember a tag in which I answered “People who are arrogant” to the question “Whom do you hate the most?” Thus completes the proof of my own arrogance, to the elegance of a mathematical proof.

Likewise, I think the people who have been calling me arrogant perhaps have a lesson to learn too… but that is not the point of this message.

Pride. It is a problem that each of us faces. You can say that you are not proud, but by saying so you are also saying you are proud that you are not arrogant, which is pride itself. So yeah, it is something which perhaps cannot be eliminated completely, and it is something which all of us have to deal with. Pride is also why we want to be our own little bosses, to lead our own lives apart from God, and to think that His plans for us are lesser than the plans that we have for our own selves.

So. This post started out randomly, but I guess the central point that my heart was trying to get at is this. That we all need to seek God and to trust Him to lead us, and to surrender to Him every part of our lives in all the sense of that word. To those that do not know of a personal God, perhaps it is Pride that is tugging you away from the Creator of the universe? To the Christian, is pride getting in the way of your walk with God? I know mine is. It is something which I have been trying to battle this entire semester in Berkeley, in some aspect of my life that perhaps only some of you know of. And of course, in many other ways as well.

So yeah. With reference to an earlier post, did my Logic or my Mind win the battle? Well, I managed to get a GPA of 3.18 for my first semester, which is kinda sucky actually, but I did work very hard. If I had been an A*Star Scholar (Singapore), which has a GPA requirement of 3.8, my scholarship would probably have been revoked. (But if I had been on that scholarship I would have taken easier classes and a lighter load in the first place) But alas I am just going to continue taking the classes which I feel is more worth taking, regardless of higher difficulty, and I shall leave it to Him and not worry about the future too much had I not obtained a high enough CGPA. And of course, I will have to work harder and smarter.

I got into all my desired classes for next semester! Thank God! They are:

Math 54, Linear Algebra and Differential Equations
CompSci61CL, Machine Structures
CompSci70, Discrete Math and Probability Theory
Psychology 1, General Psychology
Rhetoric R1A, The Craft of Writing: The Rhetoric of Human Reason

Looking forward to it!

Happy New Year to all of you!!! 2008 was a blast for me, and let’s see what 2009 has to offer!

Yeah, had my last final on my birthday. Very auspicious indeed.

Played my first Risk (a board game) game today, and I won!!! Talk about birthday luck! All the players felt sorry for me early in the game when I was almost wiped out and spread thin, but somehow (to my own disbelief) I came back and conquered three continents and wiped out two enemy capitals! (Muahaha)

*Snap* [sound of fingers snapping]

Well I guess the above sound sums up how fast I thought the semester went. I felt that it was really really fast.

Anyway I want to thank all of you for all the birthday (Facebook and SMS and phone calls) wishes, kinda sad that by now most of my friends in Berkeley are all going home already so there’s no one to celebrate with.

But I think even with technology it is not really a joy. I wish someone celebrated my birthday with me though.

Oh well, praise God for everything nonetheless!

Here’s a ranking of how I felt after each respective final (From “awesome!” to “that-really-sucked”)
1) Physics 7A (results are out: an A! yay!)
2) Math 53
3) EE20N
4) CS61A (challenging for me)
5) Physics 7B (oh I contemplated walking out of this exam but luckily I stayed and did the last few problems!)

If all goes well, I’d be away for the next two weeks in the east coast doing a ‘lil traveling with Xiang Li and two of his friends. I plan to leave my lappie behind and get some life away from the screen. I’ve been online virtually every single day this entire year. Not good. I need a break. Semester almost killed me, with the load that I WAS taking. (woo hoo, past tense!)

I want to take this opportunity now to wish all of you a Merry and Blessed Christmas, and also a Happy New Year!

–

Look at what my roommates have been telling their family members:

I came back to my room one day and my roommate was packing up to leave for home. His mum and sister were both there in the room as well, helping out.

His mum spoke to me, asking, “Are you the boy who studies all the time???”

(ES stunned for a moment)

Ern Sheong: Urm, I suppose so…

Oh my gosh.

Owned.

I wonder what my other roommates said about me…(not that it matters) “That guy who spends all his time in the library,” (well, I can’t concentrate when you guys watch House all day!!) or “the guy who always wakes me up 3 am in the morning because he comes back so late from the library.” (well for the record I stopped that habit and sleep at 1-2 these days, sometimes even earlier)

Anyway, have a good break, all of you!

–

It’s Sunday morning, and Kenneth surprised me with a brownie cake with candles!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH. So my birthday did have a cake after all. I’m really really touched and I really really appreciate it. And the gift too. Thanks.

Christmas is coming. Let’s remember what Christmas is all about:

I’m alive because of Jesus Christ!

Here’s a wonderful song by Steve Fee, “All because of Jesus”:

4 more finals to go, and it’s amazing how unstressed and calm I feel. Well, at least I am much lesser stressed that I would expect to be without casting all my worries on Him!

Hmmm, seems like quite a lot of people from all over the place read my blog…

Nothing better to do ah?

Anyway here’s a reward for being my faithful blog reader

My TA told a good joke today:

So there are 4 Berkeley students.

2 EECS majors and 2 Econs majors.

All of them are taking the train one day.

The 2 EECS majors bought 1 ticket to share between themselves, while the 2 Econs majors bought a ticket each.

Econs majors: Hey you two, don’t you know that the conductor checks the tickets everytime you board the train?

EECS majors: Yeah, we know that. Watch and learn.

On board the train, as the conductor checks the tickets, the 2 EECS majors went to the restroom.

The conductor knocks on the restroom door and one of the EECS majors slipped the ticket underneath the door.

The Econs majors saw that and they were amazed. “That’s smart!” one of them said.

Another day, 4 of them wanted to take the train again.

This time, the 2 Econs majors bought just one ticket, while the 2 EECS Majors did not buy any tickets at all.

The Econs majors were puzzled and they wondered how the EECS majors would get away with it this time.

On the train, as the conductor came, the 2 Econs majors went to the restroom.

Then one of the EECS majors went to the restroom door and knocked…

Conclusion:

EECS Majors rule! Hahaha

ES’s Logic: There’s just too much to cover in too little time. Coupled with the fact that you have to revise for 5 technical subjects, when most people only take 3-4 technical and maybe some Breath subjects.

ES’s Mind: Come on, we can do this. Somehow we can ace these 5 finals like never before!

ES’s Logic: Yeah right. I have seen the amount of revision which has to be done. The number of chapters left to revise is enormous. Then all you have to do is multiply that by 5 subjects. He’s gonna do badly again in this one.

ES’s Mind: I don’t know, but I feel that we can do this. We can study smart, we can focus on the important.

ES’s Logic: Stop being such an optimistic. There’s reality in life, you know.

ES’s Mind: Shut up you whim!

ES’s Logic: Look at Ern Sheong’s midterms, they’re weren’t that spectacular. Do you expect him to suddenly jump and trump the exam?

ES’s Mind: You are getting on my nerve. Ern Sheong needs all the support he can get, and you are betraying him?

ES’s Logic: Yeah, this guys needs more logic. He needs more of me.

ES’s Mind: OH yeah? Without me, The Mind, you would’t exist too, Logic!

*ES’s Logic releases first punch on ES’s Mind*

*mayhem continues*

And Ern Sheong wonders why he is having a headache.

Who will be proven right?

Busy preparing for finals, but this is too amusing I have to blog about it.

So I was walking on Upper Sproul near the Sather Gate and this guy walks up to me and says

Guy: Hey there, do you mind sparing a few moments to do a survey for my DeCal class?

ES: Sure, go ahead.

Guy: Alright, that’s great.

*shows me survey form*

Guy: This is completely anonymous, and I will need to know your age. The survey question is, “What is your favourite sex position?”

*ES stuns for a while*

ES: Sorry, I haven’t done that…

Guy: Perfectly alright, thanks!

This place is super liberal la. Maybe I should have said something like “flying position,” whatever that means. On his sheet of paper there was a column full of the words “missionary.”

The same day in the Daily Cal newspaper, I saw this article.

I guess I forgot that this is America. Being sexually active before marriage is the norm.

—

Btw, good news to all the international and out-of-state students applying to Berkeley this year!

California is facing a budget cut crisis and thus UC Berkeley is getting less funding. To counter that, the university hopes to enroll more international and out-of-state students because they pay full fee

Well, the bad thing is that you are coming to a university facing budget cuts everywhere, if you are admitted. Haha. Your choice.

But it ain’t that bad. At least not yet Oh well

But I think I am here now partially thanks to the budget cut as well, since Berkeley increased international enrollment by 200% on my intake year. If they did not increase enrollment, I might not have been here.

Well it’s pretty late now Friday night (i.e. Saturday morning) but Friday is my blogging day so it’s now or much later.

We’ll start off with some Stanfurd jokes! (which I heard in class today; it’s up to you how you want to interpret it) Came from my TA.

What do you get when you drive by Stanfurd and throw money out of the window?
A degree.

What is the difference between a Stanfurd tree (their mascot is a tree) and a Christmas tree?
A Christmas tree has balls.

Alright, we at Cal (short for UC Berkeley) spell “Stanford” as Stanfurd. There’s rivalry between these two schools, and they run really deep. And tomorrow’s the 111th Big Game, where Cal clashes with Stanford in a football game hosted at Memorial Stadium in Berkeley.

Our Bears (now that’s a real mascot) will rip away their Trees!

Ok ok enough of that.

Go Bears!

—

I think less is more.

Initially I was planning to do Electrical Eng and Computer Science (EECS) and was thinking so much about how to fit in minors or maybe even double major within my time here.

My first semester was kinda rough, as I was trying to cram in as much as I can so that I could like, well, do more courses and perhaps do a minor in this and that. But I ended up not really enjoying my classes since I was moving so fast from course to course and assignment to assignment just trying to just keep up.

Nah, I don’t want to do that anymore. A torture.

I am thinking of sticking to 4 classes a semester instead of 5 classes, which has pretty much left me with time for nothing else this semester. (16 units vs 20 units)

And the good news is, I can still graduate in 3 years!

I’d just take on more EECS upper div courses and explore deeper into EECS instead of spreading myself so thin everywhere. I’ve got time limitations, not to mention the lack of brain power needed to handle so much content at a single time.

So yeah, I am doing to do less, because less is more. Hope that I won’t feel so free such that I revert back to 20 units though. Haha.

OK that’s all for now. Take care people.

I am still wondering how I got through this week and came out of it pretty much okay. Three midterms within a period of 2 days– not very fun. Also the fact that I am taking 5 technical classes now this semester at Berkeley and still surviving

It turned out to be pretty good actually, though I was actually feeling a little discouraged since the results seems to be a little worse than expected. But on the brighter side it was really not bad at all and I am happy with the results (thanks to the curve!!!)

I guess that I have come to the stage where indeed everyone is really better than you and so you have to accept that well you did your best and be happy with what you have obtained.

It’s really hard to remain in such a mental state and not feel bad about some stupid score but I think I can start handling it.

For some reason, I was quite down earlier today in comp science discussion where I was really thinking of nothing but to get out of that classroom. Dunno what got me into such a state. All the expectations of myself by myself and others as well as the realization that perhaps it could not really be met.

The main spirit lifter of the week was today in bible study when my group leader Daniel spoke about John 5: 1-1

So the story goes that there was a paralytic who waited by a great pool one day when Jesus confronted him.

The myth at that time was that an angel would come down from time to time and stir the pool, and the first one to jump into the pool when the angel is stirring the pool would be healed of any infirmities.

According to what I thought I heard, modern day examination of the pool’s location would later discover that actually beneath this pool there was some rock that well,  releases some kinda gas from time to time perhaps due to acidic reaction or something. So perhaps the myth came from the fact that the pool was bubbling at times. And also the myth may have developed because it is really possible to heal oneself due to the strong belief that you should be healed. But it usually goes away and the infirmity returns.

Anyway, so this paralytic was lamenting to Jesus that there was no one to help carry him into the pool when the pool was actually stirring.  He did not directly answer Jesus’s question of whether he wanted to be healed or not. In a similar way, we get so distracted and want to apportion blame to everyone but ourselves.

It seems that in life many of us may be waiting by the pool of wealth, fame, reputation, achievement, success, material gain, etc. that we become like the paralytic, believing that the myth is actually true, that all these things can bring everlasting healing and deliverance from our current inadequacies. We are all like the paralytic in some manner. We feel incomplete unless we have achieved that something, whatever that something may be. We feel unhappy and bitter because we are not the smartest or the richest or most admired around.

And of course, the paralytic was not the only one waiting around the pool. There are a lot of other disabled people hoping to be that first person to jump into the pool at first glance of seeing it stirring. Likewise, there are tonnes of people who want to out-compete each other to get into that pool first. You can imagine all the disabled people elbowing each other just to get into the pool first. What different is such a scenario in today’s world. We try to beat each other and be the first and the best and the brightest. Only to discover that being in the “pool” provides some fleeting “healing” and “deliverance” until another smarter and richer guy comes along and puts you to shame. Then the elbowing continues as you try to defeat this new contender. Man such a vicious cycle.

But there is a better way, and I believe that Jesus is the way. He healed the paralytic. “Get up and pick up your mat! Stop wasting time by this pool and go your way!”

Well, I wanted to be some smart-ass guy here at Berkeley, only to be humbled again and again by all the really intelligent people. I no longer want to link my self-esteem to my exam performance or how much I can achieve.

But while this does not mean that I should start slacking off and study less (but instead study harder!), I hope to move toward accepting things for what things are and try to be gracious to everyone instead of adopting that “I’m going to beat you next time attitude.”  As Christians we should always strive to be the best at what we are doing, and always have a good attituce no matter what the outcome may be. We can also adopt a community attitude, to help each other out and not be so bitter about trivial things.

(In case some people interpret this wrongly with respect to wealth, it also does not mean that money is not important. Money is VERY important. Without it you cannot take care of yourself and your family, and you cannot bless others, and you can’t do God’s work and will for your life. I say this because I have received some rather mind-boggling comments in the past telling me to give away the money used for overseas education simply because I am a Christian. That’s not the point. Having money is not the problem, it is the love of money, though there is perhaps more to add to that statement.)

Also, this passage is really applicable to one’s life goals, to work hard for that fame and self-glory or to do something about it so that we do not disappoint ourselves in the end. For one, I really don’t know what I want to do later after Berkeley, but I am not going to worry about it for the moment.

Thanksgiving is approaching, and I realize that no matter how bad we perceive something to be, there is always something to thank God for.

Praise the Lord!

(P.S. Blogging about this does not mean that I am already living out all that is said in this article. I’m still imperfect and I’m constantly trying to correct myself.)

… the 1 second that you took to read the title above is now gone.

Two days ago I attended an event organized my church’s three campus groups and it was themed “Gone.” “Gone” is actually the title of a song by Switchfoot. It sounds like just another rock song, but it’s lyrics have profound meaning:

She told him she’d rather fix her makeup
Than try and fix what’s going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cell phone gone.

She told him that she believes in living
Bigger than she’s living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upside down.

Don’t say so long, and throw yourself wrong
Don’t spend today away, ’cause today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
Just try and prove me wrong and
Pretend like you’re immortal.

She said, he said, live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow
Brings us one step closer to the edge (Infinity)
Where’s your treasure, where’s your hope
If you get the world and lose your soul?
She pretends like she pretends like she’s immortal.

Don’t say so long, you’re not that far gone.
This could be your big chance to make-up
Today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
You’re going, going
Gone, like summer break is gone
Like Saturday is gone
Just try and prove me wrong
You pretend like you’re immortal (you’re immortal)
You’re immortal (you’re immortal)

Ha-ah

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We are so confident in our accomplishments
Look at our decadence.

Gone, like Frank Sinatra, like Elvis and his mom,
Like Al Pacino’s cash, nothing lasts in this life.
My High School dreams are gone
My childhood streets are gone
Life is a day that doesn’t last for long.

Life is more than money, time was never money
Time was never cash, life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills and roto-tom fills
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We’ve got information in the information age
But do we know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages?

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer
To the God who’s not short of cash
Hey Bono, I’m glad you asked
Life is still worth living, Life is still worth living
Life is more that you are.

If you could live today again, what would you do differently?

Yet it is true what the song says. We all live as if we were immortal. At least that seems to be true for people in my age group, around 20 years old and thinking that there is so much to life ahead of them. I had the grim realization 2 days ago that I had already spent about a quarter of my life or more (depending on whether I would live to see 80 years old) doing… what?

What in the world was I doing?

There was a season in my life when I used to spend many hours away on the TV and on stupid computer games like DoTA and Starcraft, doing stuff that has no value at all. Man, all that time, gone. And there are many of my peers who are still hooked on games. Could it have been spent in a better way?

Here at Berkeley, I am not so busy that I do not think about life in general. Some people think about study study study all the time. I like to still think about things.

I am sad that there are many youths out there who just don’t realize the urgency of the time at their hands. Delete those computer games, watch less TV or get rid of it. Watching or not watching that episode of Heroes does not change your life in any way at all, and I mean it. Surfing the internet mindlessly and doing nothing productive online is another time-waster which is, well, something I am trying to fix myself.

Well to be fair, perhaps I am not spending my time what well either. Perhaps to some extent I would still be dragged to that time-sucking activity called career-building one day instead of doing the things that matters. Even now, I have to prevent myself from being so entirely engrossed in the verb called “studying.” But it should be the case that these things do not consume us, or so I wish.

The pursuit of fame, ambition and material can wheel all our time away from the things that should matter more: family, pursuing God’s vision for us, and doing what really matters. On your dying bed would you call for your certificates and trophies and money so that you can smell it?

Who doesn’t want to be recognized and praised all over? But then again, in one hundred years to come, who in the world cares about you? They might talk about you like the way we are talking about Abraham Lincoln or Einstein now, but who cares? They’re all dead. You’re dead by then too.

“The greatest uncertainty in life is when would be our dying day”

“The greatest certainty in life is that we exist and that we will surely die.”

Only now do I understand the verse found in Ecclesiastes 7:2,

It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of every man;
the living should take this to heart.

Don’t think you are immortal. Time is being lent to you. We are living on borrowed time.

I think I want to start living more and more for other people instead of myself. I want to try and just help more people through in my daily life, in church, etc. Makes life more meaningful and more abundantly lived. It sad to be living short-sightedly thinking that I would be living forever and doing things for myself and myself alone.

Also, time spent worrying is time wasted. I don’t exactly know anything of what the future holds, but I do not want to agonize over “what’s next?”

The time is now.

Today will soon be gone.

Do something about it.

All because Obama won!

Students are roaming the streets and there is a big rally going on celebrating Obama’s win as the 44th President of the United States.

Cars are honking and students are cheering and shouting all over. I mean, like, non stop for the past 2 hours.

Berkeleyians who are for Obama, which form a majority of the campus community, are cheering his win. Everyone here is going crazy over his win.

Hurrah for Obama!

Update: CNN just featured Berkeley’s students celebrating in the streets on live national television. Welcome to Berkeley. Berkeley is really one very liberal place.

(Today’s midterm also had an extra credit section where you could get 6 additional points by attaching the voting slip as proof that you have voted. Even the professors are encouraging people to vote here.)

Went for the San Francisco Half Marathon this morning and it was good. Clocked 1 hour 49 minutes and 4 seconds in the 21 km race. A personal best.

But the nice thing about it was being able to run across the Golden Gate Bridge and back. Truly breathtaking. And add a rainbow to that. Yes, a rainbow was hovering above the Golden Gate Bridge when I was running. Awesome!

Somehow I managed to pull this one off without intense training. But I guess tomorrow I’ll feel the aches!

And yeah after than rushed back to the dorm and then ran all the way to church. Reached there 2 minutes late haha.

OK that’s it for now. Exam tomorrow.

It was EE20N quiz today!

It was alright, cause a short survey showed that quite a lot of people in the whole class didn’t quite get the entire problem in page 2 as well, which is basically the same fate as mine.

22/45. (mean unknown at point of writing)

UPDATE:  Mean was 19.4269/45 and the standard deviation was 7.50. Not bad not bad.

After my professor Babakued us (his name is Babak), there was candy for us in front of the lecture hall!

Talk about being evil, haha.

(There’s also a Facebook group called “I got Babakued!” for all the EECS people who have been prepared as delicious delicacies on Babak’s grill stove over the years through his tough exams)

So I guess that “Guest” is right.

Ern Sheong is one heck of a self-centered person. (Sorry I deleted your message from my Shoutbox cause I was not in a right mood when I read it. Coupled with the fact that it was anonymous and I was not having the best of days.)

I guess no one likes it when they are being labeled as self-centered and proud. So do I. But then again I think that describes me best anyway. Self-centered, selfish and proud.

OK, so I admit. I am selfish, self-centered and proud. I guess it’s been a journey over many months and years tackling this problem within myself.

I try to be more generous and caring toward others, but somehow there is always something that I could have done more to help others. Worrying too much about myself, when there are many people out there who could benefit a lot from a bit more of concern from me.

So yeah. I’m still working on it, thinking about life in general a lot, and wondering about many things in Berkeley despite this self-imposed “busyness.” And yeah, I know I should worry and think less than I do now.

But hey, I wanna embrace a changed outlook from now on.

Even if there are many people who do much better than I do in many things, I just wanna be grateful for the opportunity to rub shoulders with all these wonderful people and actually learn all these stuff that I am learning now. Bad marks for some quizzes and midterms don’t really do much harm to me anymore. It’s just part of the journey. And life out there is like that. And hard work is becoming an enjoyment.

I feel down a lot of times and I pick myself up most of the times. For the rest, God picks me up. I just smile when I think that I am stressing myself out. I am learning to take things slowly and enjoying the process. Soon, Berkeley will come to pass for me. Better enjoy the moment and not sweat the small stuff.

Man I have to learn how to be cheerful and not take things so seriously all the time.